How Validation Works

“Look at me, tell me how [good] I am!”

It starts with a bit of insecurity, a little nugget of self-doubt, and leads to the unquenchable thirst for constant validation. And this occurrence is even stronger in case of validation by utter strangers. Who doesn’t love getting complimented by random people in the streets? You do. I do. Fuck, everyone does.

Also brought in by this yearning to be [positively] judged is a rush of unnecessary comparisons between peers, and, in some cases, superiors. I, for one, have always known how smarter I am than “the smartest guy in the room”, and I’ve always been comfortable with keeping that fact to myself.

In high contrast, however, one can observe how an insecure person falls over himself [girls, as I’ve noted, are much more at peace with themselves than boys] in the process of proving himself better to/on par with a secret standard known only to himself.

Even as I draft this, the bumbling adult in the front of the class (read: professor) tries to hold her impression high in the minds of the students. She’s not doing great.

Teach yourself to teach yourself. Self-validate. Self-suffice. Self-ie. Shit. Fuck off.

Aptitude Exams From An Average Student’s Perspective

Lookin’ good, babe

[clarification: this isn’t my perspective; I’m way above average]
Giving exams has always been fun, even if the level of fun has always varied with what topic the exam centers around. For the record, fully theoretical subjects are a universal sux. I’ve always watched my peers’ body language while attempting these kind of exams [multiple choice online tests] and decided to write about it, adding my own nonce nuances. Mostly because I’m fucking bored again. Here’s what goes through their minds:

  • Oh I’ve logged in. Fuck my life already.
  • Quants? Lmao sorry, this requires me to randomly click options
  • Someone’s watching me, I’ve got to pretend to be solving something
  • Damnit I don’t know the formulae, better if I just submit
  • Verbal section? Lololol fast forward pls oh fuck 
  • Logical/analytical skills. Why not call it logical anal skills hehehe am I right 
  • Goddamnit kill me already. Am I sweating? Holy shit, 5 minutes remaining.
  • I’m going to fail, time to buy a sturdy rope
  • Holy wh- time up??!? Shit, someone’s coming.
  • “Haha, it was good, yes the quants were harder than usual. Right? RIGHT?”

I really need a job, to be honest. Even an impromptu rimjob from a specially-abled midget will suffice at this point.

The Weakend

A lot of shit has been happening this week. I became more adept at winning pissing contests; literal as well as figurative. Also became a professional at switching from taciturn mode to garrulous mode and vice versa. Job opportunities are getting closer by the day, although it is a distinct matter for every guy in my class. People are falling over each other to get a shot at a job. I’m rather calm about it, since I follow a very pedestrian principle: eh, fuck it

I got hold of another catfish account [for the layman: a catfish is a guy pretending to be a girl] but I let the guy walk; not out of sympathy. In fact, it was empathy. I know the amount of effort it takes to handle such an account.

My weekends are quite lazy, to be honest. I spend a good chunk of the time stalking people, checking who’s stalking me, tweeting some shit that is stupid and/or extraordinarily clever, writing, reading, and watching a minimum four episodes of a good T.V. series. On that note, watch Tom Hardy’s Taboo. 

Another tip: when you think of something to do when you’re bored but you can’t get around to doing it, remember to make a note of it so that you can look at it in your free time, i.e. the weekend. Example: you have to check out the new porn category? Make a note. Your subconscious is sometimes weakened and hence, the note helps.

Cheers. Screw you.

To Mock A Killing Bird

shit!?

The early bird gets the worm, but the bird of prey gets them both.

This one’s about that time when I saw a face-off between a falcon in his prime and a parrot with a human-equivalent IQ.

[Context: the parrot -his owner was a twenty-one year old kid- has escaped from a life of unlimited food (and drink) to get a taste of freedom. He lands on a boulder and sees a falcon land near him, thus stirring up the huge parrot-vocabulary.]

Parrot: You little piece of shit

Falcon: ok

Parrot: you son of a cocksucking bald eagle

Falcon: ok

Parrot: you scare pussies away but you’re a bigger pussy, eh mate

Falcon: you do realize that I will kill you, don’t you?

Parrot: do you realize that you were adopted by a pair of sterile crows?

Falcon: goddamnit

Parrot: eat a dick, you stupid sexually transmitted idiot 

Falcon: That’s it

Parrot: [having finally exhausted his word supply] Im outta words

Falcon: [making a big show of cocking his neck and clacking forward] Any last words?

Parrot: I just said I was out of words, you numbskull

Falcon: wait what

Parrot: what

Then the falcon proceeds to tear the parrot up and eat the parrot as the latter manages to cough up one last insult (as perceived by said falcon).

“Oh, you’re a lady falcon!”

End.

Suggest A Title Please

She’s so hot, man

Just checking in.

To my non-existent reader group – Hello, you little cunts

To myself, a note: never trust a good pirate. There’s a reason he’s good. [Context: nearly got beheaded, got away by the skin of my teeth and a broken jaw]

In today’s other news, I’ve managed to quite seriously offend three people on twitter on via my expendable accounts, and I offended a couple of humans in the real world via my lifetime account with an expiry date. People call me a sadistic prick all the time and I reciprocate by being one. Some kind of syndrome in action, no doubt.

A little birdie once told me, go fuck yourself, and there was no way to do it but I have the utmost respect for nature, so I wanked off to myself. Then I watched Predestination and did it again. Wonder why they couldn’t call it Precum or something like that. PR issues, probably.

I really want the John Wick sequel to be good; the reviews so far are good. The first one, I recall, did not air in theatres here; half the time, Indians don’t know a good movie when they see one [yes, you know it]. No wonder Dev Patel [among others] gave Bollywood the finger and Priyanka Chopra [among others] is so keen to have Hollywood’s finger in her. Who’s to say she hasn’t already?

In any case, this was just a test post. Joke’s on you.

😦

[rant] The System

as you know it, is fuckall. Every minuscule aspect of this system is designed to (forcibly) make you a part of it, to be drawn into the hungry, open maw of controlled society.

The university I study in at the moment is possibly one of the very worst pieces of shit ever. The benevolent nature towards students is the shitty facade they’re trying to maintain, but I can clearly see through. It’s all a fucking sham.

And that’s not the only shit I’ll have managed to get through. Soon there’ll be scores of students lining up for jobs and the companies will rake them in like some worthless throwaway crap and then sift through them as per the guidelines. What about the guy who managed to create an app on his own but had to sit out because of a lesser percentage he received due to hasty paper-checking? What about the girl who has mediocre marks but possesses the grasping power twice that of her peers? Nope. These guys get a dry look and an unspoken “piss off, mate”. And all this doesn’t even take into consideration the piss-poor caste filter that has driven its roots deep into the system and now lies there with no intentions of ever moving, inspite of the numerous attempts at eradicate it.

Who controls all this shit anyway? That’s right. The upper echelon. The superpowered cunts who wish to build their dreams on top of the nightmares of the denizen of “civilized society”. Free speech is a joke. You cannot call someone something derogatory and get away with a genuine explanation of how  it was your perception of them. Nope. You’re at fault then. Many people give in and dry up under this ever-ready-to-suck-out-your-joy system. I don’t. I won’t. And although one cannot blame it solely for any and all hardships one will face as they get along with their lives, the system, as it is now, and will probably be for years to come, is flawed.

Fuck them. Fuck the system.

Parks And Morbid Recreation

This looks kind of like my vantage point

I don’t normally go for walks, but when I do, I write about it. (I had something better for this, but cannot recall at the moment) Today’s parks are nothing really, just a bunch of trees with a play area, maybe a bunch of bushes with semen residue, a dead dog somewhere, and very shitty lighting. I went to a similar park today in the early hours of the morning, hoping to catch some nightcrawlers in action. I wasn’t disappointed. The first thing you notice in the dark is the eerie atmosphere, followed by the sheer stupidity of it. Nothing is eerie about a guy trying to get in in some girl’s pants, and succeeding at it. I think these guys have a timetable or something. “You take her on Monday, he’ll take his chance on Thursday.” “What about you?” “I’m her brother.” Can’t really corroborate my theory, but I reckon the park insects enjoy the incest, as is implied by their incessant buzzing.
Another common occurrence is the beggar crowd, whose presence is also prevalent in the wee hours. Normally harmless in the daytime, these guys were trying to put their dicks into each other’s dickholes. [That’s harmless too, technically] Which was clearly illogical, given the shaft diameters, but they seemed to be enjoying it; a very bizarre category of cum-ah-sutra.

And that’s not even the best part. Ever seen a guy trying to make love to a corpse?

Right.

Not Sure What The Hell I’m/You’re Doing Here

This is my very first post. I’ve been blogging elsewhere with seven thousand constraints on my head, resulting in a very watered-down version of what the original text might’ve been. Here, not so much.

It’s a fucking joke, the amount of ridiculous content floating on the internet. This site will be dedicated to increasing that absurdity coefficient (absurd content/all content) to the point where it all makes sense in a weird way. Maybe.

yorkshire-terrier-361730_960_720.jpg

Not my dog; I hate dogs. Added this pic just for visibility.