Juggling Identities: Just The Tips

I can neither confirm nor deny the veracity of the following content.

Alright. Assuming that we know what a catfish or a smurf account is, let’s proceed.

Tips to keep in mind while living parallel lives.

  • Never let your identities overlap
  • Always use names/usernames of varying religions and sects and races
  • Never let your identities overlap
  • The moment that you get even little hints of a compromised identity, delete it.
  • Never… (you get the gist)
  • Do not make an account without keeping room for a quick, emergency killswitch e.g. the multi-step gmail verification can be foregone
  • Have at least 3 working emails on at least 2 mail service platforms
  • Non-anonymous accounts i.e. FB, Insta etc. are best used for subscription deals/coupouns/discounts-in-return-for-promotion, since it’s a win-win situation for both parties
  • Anonymous accounts i.e. Twitter are best used for trolling
  • Catfishing is a bad dick move (pun intended) but you can keep up the gig within limits
  • Smurf accounts on Steam are a complete no-no (trust me)
  • Never let identities overlap; this is of utmost importance.
  • Keep taking your dissociative identity disorder meds
  • Visit your shrink as scheduled
  • Segregate publishable content throughout the identities e.g. one twitter account solely for edgy humor, another solely for philosophical/emo content, yet another one…
  • No overlap
  • One official identity is always to be kept handy
  • Do not get involved in any cults/secret societies on any identity; it becomes difficult to get out
  • Don’t read too much Freud
  • Don’t log in all accounts into one machine. That would be fucking dumb.

That’s it, I guess (nope, there’s a lot more) . I almost did a do’s and don’t’s but I’m feeling pretty lethargic at the moment so stfu


Clear History?


It is said that a man is always haunted by his past [most women are a bunch of lucky bitches, sometimes with short term memory loss]. Similar is the case with Twitter. When you’re a newbie to the game, you inadvertently tweet some shit which later amounts to a palpable skeleton in your closet. A rather significant number of cunty tweets are dangerous to your reputation [reputation -> lul]. Also comes with this the problem of your identity: in all probability, it’s possible that a tweet containing media/links can point to your real identity.

Pro tip: Use Twitter’s advanced search for this purpose. Enter these search queries for required results and take care to observe where “-” has and has not been used.



  • from:@UserName filter:links
    • This returns all your tweets containing links (any bloglink/weblink) and tweets containing images (Twitter converts pictures to links, e.g. media.twitter.com/media)
  • from:@UserName -filter:mentions
    • This returns all your mostly original tweets (including media tweets, but excluding retweets and mentions)
  • from:@UserName -filter:retweets
    • This returns your entire timeline: all tweets except retweets (replies will also be returned)

These searches are very effective (can confirm) for people with a individually-deletable number of tweets. Like, 50.

What when you’ve to reset to your whole timeline proper? I recently cleared my account of all the shit tweets I’ve done. A simple software by this guy, it turns out, is sufficient. A procedure is provided on the author’s site, but I’ll try and simplify it. Here’s how you go about deleting your tweets in bulk:

  • Have a Twitter account lel
  • Request your archive, and download it [note the path]


    Don’t click on this lmao

  • Download this. The portable version works very well.
  • When prompted, login and get a PIN access code (kind of an OTP)
  • Locate your index file (also when prompted) and click on it to point the software to it.

Typical archive file

  • A huge timeline in reverse chronological order with all your tweets (including retweets and replies) will appear, categorized by month.
  • If you have a fuckton of useless tweets (including retweets and replies) to delete, select all subheadings – a month is a subheading – and deselect the ones you want to keep.
  • Keep in mind that your tweets will be visible in your archive
  • Click delete and watch a full chunk of your virtual life melt away
  • Get a life

Thanks for reading. Cunt.