Poem Or Something

There is a stray dog outside my

Window and I want to kill


But there is also wifi

And so there is hope

Punctuation is weird and

So are random segues

Yo momma so fat she

Jumps between aesthetics like her bowel movement

But that makes no

Sense and my indentation is


Such meme much meta

Everyone is a poet

Till the justified text walks in

Jodie Foster (screaming “I’m gay, please send a straight poet, the aliens are crazy”) is nice

I should do this more often

But I don’t write well when I

Am not sad enough


Pome #1 – De ‘kay

The sports bra makes it look very okay,

But my bosom is in a state of horrid decay

I see my scalp shedding hair,

Even my crotch is completely bare

My liver’s getting spotty and shivery,

My spots are getting snotty and livery

I think I’m pregnant, but my doctor says I’m not,

He laughs at my plight; my intestine’s a knot

Everyone’s an asshole, but not as pinched as mine

“You’re a little deluded cunt”, is everyone’s favorite line

I’m most definitely going to cry

Since my pussy is undeniably dry

But I never learned to bid goodbye

For eunuchs never die

They don’t, do they? Oh, fuck